There is often a need for strict follow-up and guidance of parents and their children in complex situations or after a court case. This follow-up concerns, for example, contact recovery, more balanced and appropriate agreements and so on.
In complex situations where parents cannot agree on their parenting, Walsha provides appropriate support. The best interests of the child are always central to this guidance.
Walsha is willing to make a suitable report of the counselling process.
Parents experience a variety of challenges during or after a contested divorce. Here are some key aspects:
Communication and Cooperation: In a contested divorce, communication and cooperation between parents is often problematic. There is fear, anger and mistrust, which can lead to a protracted legal battle.
Emotional Impact: Parents often feel guilty towards their children. Processing grief and anger is essential. Comforting and creating a cozy atmosphere are important, but excessive pampering does not compensate for the separation. Putting the children in a conflict of loyalties happens all too often. Sometimes with this intention and sometimes out of ignorance.
Emotions in Children: Children experience strong emotions after hearing about the divorce. They may feel sadness, anger, fear, and sometimes even relief. It is important that they learn to deal with these feelings. Boys and girls often express themselves differently, but all emotions are normal. Children wish to be loyal to both parents. The fight between the parents often involves conflicts of loyalty. This gives rise to v-coalitions with and fronts against in the family system. These conflicts of loyalty have a significant to traumatic impact on the child.
Self-Care for Parents: Parents need to take care of themselves to manage stress. Seeking support in parenting, talking to the ex-partner and asking others for help are important. Exercise also helps to reduce stress.
Characteristics of Parents in Divorce: Parents involved in a contested divorce often use their legal rights to play the children off against the other parent. This behavior often stems from a lack of trust and/or in retaliation for one’s own emotional pain.
In short, divorces have a major impact on parents and children with often irreversible consequences for everyone involved!
Systeem en interactie
By examining the entire ‘system’ of the family, we explore destructive or non-functional patterns of interaction. These patterns emerge in the way people interact with each other. Sometimes these patterns are helpful, while other times they don’t.
To start this process, it is essential that parents, plus parents, children and other parties involved are willing to actively participate in the guidance. They must be aware that this guidance is carried out in the best interests of the child. Success is only possible when those involved look at themselves and acknowledge their own role in the child’s well-being.
A second condition is that Walsha’s proposed approach is strictly followed. Any personal interest of a person involved will have a negative impact on the guidance.
While each case requires a specific approach, the conceptual steps typically include:
- Individual interviews with those involved.
- If necessary, psychological testing.
- Parent interviews.
- Conversations between parents and children.
- Evaluation and adjustment of achieved results.